Online dating

Internet dating has become an extremely popular way to meet people, and has indeed brought a lot of lonely souls together. But not every date turns out like a ad. Catfish, lonely people, broken hearts, false claims, failed expectations, doctored photos,  no-shows, and even frauds --it's all part of the online dating experience. I gathered a few observations from my own experience and stories I heard from people around me.

On some online dating sites, if a member wants to express attraction for another member after reading their profile, but without going to the extreme of sending them an e-mail, they can send an electronic wink. I was overloaded with winks and messages in my inbox, Over 2000 members viewed my profile. Of those, at least half were winks.Usually, though, what the winks actually mean is: "I saw your picture and I think you're hot, but I'm too lazy to read your profile and it costs me nothing to just shoot you a wink on the off chance that you think my overweight body is sexy, or that you're a nymphomaniac."

You'd think the anonymity of online interaction would make it easier for guys to come off as smooth and in control. But the opposite is often the case. That same anonymity seems to give some men a license to be rude perverts. One guy came right out in the subject line of his message and let me know he wanted to meet me and do "bad things" to me. Another claimed he was a real cowboy, and wanted to have sex with me bareback on his horse. Oy.

A few tips from my male friend to girls trying too hard to be cool online. “First of all, the screen name. Stop putting 'sassy' into your screen name. Stop putting 'city girl' into your screen name. When registering, if you tried to use 'giantfan' as your screen name and it came back telling you that you'd have to settle for 'giantfan57836,' that should have been your first clue that you have picked a disgustingly unoriginal name.. Speaking of Giant fans, stop saying you love sports and that you 'act just like a guy.'”

And the same is true of the men. I started to whittle the list down by deleting those with eyebrow-raising or just plain sad screen names, such as variations on "loverboy," "mr. romantic," "lonely guy," "lonely one," "kiss me," "true love MD," "huggy bear," "party man," "sexy upndown", “ladies man “, etc.--I am not making these up--and subject lines such as "Hi Beautiful", "Wow!", "Hi Baby Pretty", "Hey there, sexy", and "Me wink; you reply".

I guess pictures of guys posing with a cat or fresh-caught barracuda are not so bad compared to few sparks that I have found. Just to name a few : a picture of a guy holding a small cup of what looked to be urine and a headline saying “I am drug free and I can prove it". Another one half my age kissing a beer bottle, his caption read “ hey cougar looking for a cub meow”, guy dressed like a Zorro,  a store trooper figure – no face, just a toy- how can I know this is not a 10 year old? I already have one son, don’t need another one. Left and left.

The Onion's Online Dating Tips offer this suggestion: Set yourself apart by choosing a descriptive user name like SocialRetard321, CuteFaceFatAss, or WhiteRihno

The worst part of online dating is the first awkward face-to-face hello. Your preconception of the person you have been speaking to is always very oddly different from the person you meet. And I also seem to make my mind up very quickly on how the night will go.

I once heard a story about a man who turns up to dates early and buys himself a drink, so that when the girl arrives, he can send her up to the bar to get a drink and do a runner if he thinks they aren’t up to his exacting standards. That’s almost a reason to give up.

Many, many people agree to a drink and then never reply. I’m almost not sure how to deal with any response to “Do you want to discuss this over a drink?” that isn’t silence. One guy asked me which person I was in one of my profile pictures; he said my friend looked like a much hotter version of me. I replied, “Oh, really?” He said, “You’re an angry woman, you would fall in love with me but also hate me a little bit. I bet you would slap me during sex.”

Bumble is rumored to be an app that has a hotter population of men. But it doesn’t actually put the female in control: it simply means vain men can read and smugly ignore your overthought openers. Happn is trying to add the cute “fate” dimension to app dating, but it just means you find your flatmate’s boyfriend on it as he is upstairs and the location tracker lands you in a dubious situation.

A friend of mine commented that no one hooks up with anyone on a night out any more. I reckon this is due to everyone prearranging their hook-ups on apps. Spontaneity can be overrated.

Probably the best online profile I read was from a guy with   one arm  “Not the best at juggling (fought a shark, lost an arm)”. I think he may have lost it in an actual shark attack.

The trick is to assume that the ugliest photo he sends is the truest representation. After all, we all try to present the most attractive profiles of ourselves. From experience, it’s also a good idea to avoid freelance models.

I think people are a bit more dismissive on online dates than they would be if they were with a friend of a friend or someone they had met in a bar – although seriously, does that ever happen? If there isn’t a spark you don’t feel any obligation to immediately say, “I had a really nice time but I didn’t think we quite clicked.” Whereas you might if you thought you would see them again. Online dating becomes a numbers game; the more people you meet the more likely you think you are to find “the one”.

Online dating has delivered some very random and entertaining evenings. I have gone on dates that have led to flirtations and friendships, and that have introduced me to new parts of New York, and places to go out. The highlight so far was definitely sharing a boozy evening with a pretty famous and rather attractive tv anchor. That’s one of the real, sincere joys of online dating – it can open your world up to people who you would never ordinarily get the chance to meet. 

Some people are truly looking for a relationship, for others online dating becomes an addiction. One of my friends started on craigslist. At times she would try to stop the madness. Would take down her ads, tell people she was taking a "break" from dating, she would arrange to see the same guy several times just to keep herself from going on new dates. But always, inevitably, she would log in just to see who were out there, what new ads were posted in her absence ... and she would get reeled back in. 

Soon, wasn't enough. She branched out to Nerve and Yahoo, even Jdate (not that she is Jewish). As a result, she started having more dates than free evenings. She became an expert stacker. Her performance at work started to suffer. Between arranging dates and answering e-mails, she rarely finished her projects on time. And she started taking long date lunches, because her evenings were already chock-full. At that point, her dating itself started to suffer. She started losing track of which one was the human rights lawyer and which one hiked Mt. Everest. Her ability to combine witty banter with piercing intellectual observations and shy but come-hither glances (the ingredients, she knew, of a successful date) was plummeting. Slack-jawed, bleary-eyed, she could only listen with faux enthusiasm and nod at appropriate intervals to their monologues....There were times she woke up and couldn't remember whom she had gone out with the previous night, nor whom she was supposed to meet that night. And she could no longer rely on just first names--there were scores of Robs, and Daves, and Mikes. She had to make up nicknames for all of them, and designed a spreadsheet with relevant details of each to keep track of it all. 

Sometimes when you think you’ve met the perfect partner through an online dating website or app, the other person is using a fake profile to form a relationship with you. They’re using the site to gain your trust and ask you for money or enough personal information to steal your identity. This is an extreme scenario but it happens. It happened to my best friend. A guy she met online and soon started to date would tell her how wonderful and beautiful she was, how much he loved her (after a month of dating)he  would cook her dinners, do shopping,  paint her apartment, etc. Very soon he won her heart, who wouldn't ? he seemed like a perfect guy, almost too perfect. The fact that he was wearing the same shirt over and over, getting gas only for 5$ at a time or rarely buying her a drink or paying for dinner or didn't have a Facebook account weren’t good enough reasons to raise her suspicion.  But when all of the sudden both of his parents died within one month and he was trying to keep her away from meeting the rest of the family or friends something clicked. She called his work place; nobody knew his name,  his mom’s funeral was never scheduled at the cemetery he gave her. Although he kept insisting he was there during the ceremony. She had to hire a private detective to find out if he was only after her money or maybe a psychopath or a former convict. 

Despite some setbacks, online dating has generally delivered a pleasing source of distraction and periodic amusement for me.  Nonetheless, I do wonder if having constant access to so many potential partners is such a good thing. Such opportunity seems to mean that there are fewer incentives to see what happens when you do meet someone you like, and to stick with it when it gets hard. I confess I have been guilty of thinking, “Well, he is  nice, but New Jersey is a bit far away,” from time to time. I do have a few friends who have found lasting relationships online, so keep on swiping people I believe you can find your true love and online dating is as good as any other way of meeting the only one for you.    

Everything tuna salad was introduced to me on one of my online dates by a very nice guy, who apparently can cook. We went out a few times but there wasn’t enough sparks to continue it. I hope he will forgive me for using his recipe without asking. 


2 cans of tuna in water or olive oil

bunch of crunchy lettuce ( romaine works well )

10 baby carrots , chopped in 1 inch cubes

small radicchio

1 pear chopped

bunch of scallion, dill  and parsley

juice of 5 lemons

1/3 cup of olive oil

salt and pepper

chop everything and mix well. Serve with nice French bread.





best granola and my morning routine- dedicated to ada


Mornings are my favorite time of the day. Partially because it is a new day, and I have a chance for something very exciting to happen. But before I start my invigorating day I do my ordinary, boring things to make me feel safe, and grounded.

I love to ask people about their morning routines. It’s a source of endless fascination for me.  I’ve been asked that question so many times: what’s your morning routine? They seem to be expecting an inspiring answer. I hate to disappoint.  

My morning routine is pretty boring. Every day the same, getting up, exercising, shower, quick walk with my dog and bike ride to work. I break that boring routine once in a while with a short visit at a local coffee shop, usually combine with a friendly chat with neighbors, yes even New Yorkers have a sense of community and they are friendly sometimes, half sleeping, waiting for their first sip of coffee. Oftentimes the first thing I do in the morning is checking my email on my phone before I even sit up. I do this to calm my anxiety. Or to create enough anxiety that I’m not sleepy anymore. I’m not sure which. It’s a terrible habit.  I don’t have time to eat at home, I hit the ground running & get straight to work with my hair in a messy bun because I chose exercising over hairdo and makeup.

One of my routines is the choice of menu…. Fruit with yogurt and home made granola… Night owls rejoice! Now you can add some bee pollen, goji berries, seeds, coconut flakes, and superfood-, add some yogurt and have a legitimate, protein rich breakfast without doing anything more than waking up. This is particularly handy for not just night owls but for:

a) people who want to eat well in the morning (everyone, yes?)

b) people with children who even if they’re far better than I at mornings get pounced on with more needs than one woman can juggle 

c) people on the go that need something they can take with them.

So here’s to mornings, whether your idea of morning is burying a head under your pillow because you were up in the ambient glow of a screen as your brain buzzed all evening or if you’re a veritable bird from a Disney movie in the morning.

My best granola

 1 bag rolled oat

1/2 cup of coconut oil

·  5 tablespoons of honey or date paste (just mashed up dates)

· 1 teaspoon of flaky salt

· 1 cup of xylitol


·  bee pollen

·  fresh fruit

·  honey

·  toasted coconut flakes

  goji berries

·  hemp seeds (or other seeds & nuts)

Mix all the ingredients together, spread out on a baking sheet and bake for 1 hour in 275 F turn it occasionally so the oats don’t burn.



Tahini Cauliflower

Do I have big dreams? I often ask myself if I am just lazy or being pragmatic and know my limitations. Sure enough the American dream has become the American basic expectation.

As Pole in America all this star- spangled expectations feels strange to me. There is no “ Polish dream “ (other than a new car, and someone else’s misfortune) Telling a polish toddler that they, too, could one day be a President would likely give them nightmares.

The American Dream can be very inspiring, but it is also problematic, not because it is mostly false, but also because research shows that America is far from being the Land of a big opportunity.  A child who is born poor in America is more likely to remain poor than in any other comparable country. The fact that Trump’s own way-to-riches fairytale shows a  likely inheritance millions from his daddy is relatively typical. An estimated 40% of the billionaires on the Forbes billionaires list also inherited a big portion of their wealth.

In this story, success is the result not of luck or privilege, but our own personal qualities, skills and hard work. Similarly, failure can never stand from systemic obstacles or difficult circumstances—the fact that good jobs are increasingly rare, incomes are hitting poverty levels and rents are sky-high—but is simply a mark of personal deficiency.

While Americans are great at big dreams (you can become the President!), they are surprisingly bad at more moderate ones (you can have paid vacation/ affordable healthcare/ a fair wage.) It is a genuine possibility that an American woman might make it to Mars before she gets long paid maternity leave. But in reality, the majority of our wellbeing is not made up from the remote possibility of enormous success but from these more modest dreams. 

In my personal opinion, the subtle claim that we should all be striving for greatness can be surprisingly psychologically damaging. The American dream has become the mass production of unrealistic expectations. The constant mantra “ you can be anything you want to be “ has created anxiety in American life, where anything short of greatness can feel like a failure.

But really, small concrete, gains are as important to our happiness as the big dreams. So maybe our next generation of graduation speeches should encourage us to do something truly inspirational. Dream small and succeed!! 

Roasted cauliflower with tahini sauce, sprinkled with pomegranate seed and cilantro is my version of big dream of a fancy dishes made with no afford and 100% of satisfaction.

Every time I make this dish my guests absolutely love it and want the recipe. I won’t pretend it is an old family recipe anymore. (I didn’t grow up in the Middle East eating tahini sauce, even halva was a rarity) So here you are my curios friends. The easiest recipe on Earth that will let you win any culinary competition with your friends …. I didn’t promise top chef. Remember dream small… 



1 head cauliflower, whole or cored and cut into 1 1⁄2'' florets

1/4-cup extra-virgin olive oil

2 tsp. yeast flakes

sea salt salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste

1/2-cup tahini

3 cloves garlic, smashed and minced into a paste

Juice of 1 lemon

1-cup pomegranate seeds

½ cup chopped fresh cilantro

Heat oven to 500°. Toss together oil, yeast flakes, cauliflower, and salt and pepper in a large bowl. Transfer to rimmed baking sheet; spread out evenly. Bake, rotating pans from top to bottom and front to back, until cauliflower is browned and tender, 25—30 minutes.


Meanwhile, combine tahini, garlic, lemon juice, and 1⁄2 cup water in a small bowl and season with salt. Serve cauliflower hot or at room temperature with tahini sauce, sprinkled with pomegranate seeds and cilantro.




1 kalafior

¼ szklanki oleju

2 lyzeczki platkow drozdzowych

sol morska I pieprz do smaku

½ szklanki pasty tahini

3 zabki czosnku posiekane

sok z 1 cytryny

1 szklanka nasion granatu

½  szklanka posiekanej swiezej kolendry


Nagrzac piekarnik do 280C wymieszac olej, platki drozdowe, sol, pieprz I kalafior, umiescic na blaszce do pieczenia piec przez okolo 25-30 min obracajac aby kalafior byl przypieczony z obu stron.

Wymieszac paste tahini, czosnek, sok cytrynowy, I ½ szklanki wody w miseczce, doprawic sola. Serwowac na cieplo lub zimno posypane granatem I kolendra .



Pineapple crumble or happiness vs satisfaction

I was at the gynecologist office yesterday for my annual checkup, thinking about what is an appropriate small talk for those weird moments when the person you are speaking to is replying to your vagina, when my doctor asked me if I am truly happy, knowing what I was going through recently. A year and a half ago I would have found it very strange to be discussing the path to everlasting bliss with my gynecologist but yesterday it really made me pause for a moment and think about what I want in life, what makes me really happy, what are my goals, desires?

 It’s not that I don’t want to be happy, but growing up in Poland we didn’t talk about it. It makes us Poles uncomfortable around the subject. Asking people how they are today will bring you to a long conversation about what is wrong with their lives. That’s why standard American greeting “how are you" doesn’t exist in polish small talk. If you are friendlier with someone and have time to kill you might ask “what’s cooking“ – free translation, and for 15 minutes or more you will experience a lot of … it’s good but… I call it a “butt talk “. It feels almost embarrassing to discuss happiness and demeaning to chase it. It's like having sex for the first time and asking if it was the best you ever had. Part of this is that Americans seems to have a deep aversion to negativity, this could be a positive change for me, but the pressure to remain positive all the time could be mentally very challenging. It’s good to be away from the sometimes life – sucking negativity, but I also find it hard to throw myself full gear into approach to hunting down the bliss

What is it that I really desire, money, a better job, love, a new car, traveling? Do I wish to do something big, or maybe I am satisfied with my life as it is, and don’t want to change it? I started to analyze my goals, small or big and ultimate discovered that what I really want is security, and everything I do is motivated by the desire to gain it. I desire things not because I believe new car, more money, better job will bring me happiness, but it will free me from stress, anxieties and fears. 

I use to devote a lot of time and efforts for getting something that in the end did not bring me the happiness and security I anticipated. I realized that my true happiness does not depend on possessions, and circumstances, new shoes, good sex, wonderful meal are only temporary excitements.  True security begins as a mental state, as inner strength, as faith in myself, and I also discovered that my inner happiness brings happiness and security in the material world. Sometimes is just not worth to fight and want more, it’s good to give out and make peace, it will all come back one day.

My happiness is my choice, I don’t let other people to decide either I am happy or not. It is my attitude that makes me feel uplifted, not the circumstances. I can choose to dwell on an unhappy event all day long, or I may also choose to refuse to think about it, and focus on other things that make me happy. I might not be able to change people’s behavior, but I can control my reactions, my response, and whether to let their behavior and their actions affect me. It’s so easy and so hard the same time. I learn new things about myself every day, I practice my patience with my testing me teenager and most of the time I succeed. 

Happiness is often compared to a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but which if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.”

Waiting for the butterfly to sit on me and to answer my OB- GYN, for the time being I will stick to satisfaction, shifting my focus from being utterly happy to being happily satisfied with all I have had achieved, and all I have and care about.

Today's recipe is a perfect example of satisfaction over happiness. I mimicked the thick, sweet, sugary filling by treating the pineapple in two ways: I  mashed half of pineapples to thicken the sauce and cut the other half into chunks for added texture. To cut down on calories, I traded sugar for coconut nectar (or xylitol ) and regular flour for almond flour . Traditional recipes have 540 calories, 23 grams of fat, and 11 grams of saturated fat per 1-cup serving. My changes brought the numbers down to 300 calories, 6 grams of fat, and 4 gram of saturated fat. I am very satisfied with the end result and the taste. 


Instant or quick oats turn the topping sandy; use old-fashioned oats. Note that the pineapple pieces and pineapple chunks are cooked differently.


2/3 cup (2 ounces) old-fashioned rolled oats                                                                                                1 cup mixed nuts
5 tablespoons packed light brown sugar, i used coconut nectar 5 Tbs or to taste
1/4 cup (1 1/4 ounces) almond flour
3 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted and cooled
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/8 teaspoon salt


1 pineapple or 6 large Golden Delicious apples (8 ounces each), peeled, cored, and  halved
1 cup pineapple juice or if you are using apples apple juice
2 tablespoons packed light brown sugar or coconut nectar to taste
3/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
2 teaspoons lemon juice


1. FOR THE TOPPING: Process 1/3 cup oats in food processor until finely ground, about 20 seconds. Combine processed oats, remaining 1/3 cup oats, sugar, flour, butter, cinnamon, nuts, and salt in medium bowl; set aside.

2. FOR THE FILLING: Adjust oven rack to upper-middle position and heat oven to 400 degrees. Cut half of pineapple into 1 inch pieces the other half into 1/4 inch chunks (3 apples into 1-inch pieces and slice remaining 3 apples into 1/4-inch-thick wedges. ) Bring pineapple pieces, apple juice, sugar, and cinnamon to simmer in 12-inch nonstick skillet over medium heat. Cover and cook, stirring occasionally, until pineapple pieces are tender, about 15 minutes. Transfer mixture to bowl and mash pineapple using potato masher. Reserve 1 tablespoon mashed pineapple mixture. Return remaining mashed pineapple mixture to skillet with pineapple chunks  and cook, covered, until chunks just begin to soften, 3 to 4 minutes. Off heat, stir in lemon juice.

3. Scrape pineapple filling into 8-inch square baking dish and press into even layer. Add reserved mashed pineapple to topping mixture, stirring until mixture appears crumbly. Sprinkle topping over filling and bake until juices are bubbling and topping is deep golden brown, about 25 minutes. Let cool on wire rack for 15 minutes. Decorate with fruit, I used cape gooseberries also known as Peruvian ground cherry.                                                                                                                                           Bon Appetit !


Skladniki na 6 porcji
2/3 szkladnki platkow owsianych ( nie blyskawicznych)                                                                               1 szklanka dowolnych orzechow, lub mieszanka
5 lyzek brazowego cukru , ja uzylam nektaru kokosowego
1/4 szklanki maki ( w moim przypadku orkiszowa) 
3 lyzki masla rozpuszczonego
1/2 lyzeczki cynamonu
1/8 lyzeczki soli
1 swiezy ananas mozna uzyc jablek (6 duzych soczystych obranych ze skory i pokrojonych na czastki) 
1 szklanka soku anansowego lub jablkowego
2 lyzki cukru brazowego (nektar kokosowy lub ksylitol) 
3/4 lyzeczki cynamonu
2 lyzeczki soku z cytryny
1. kruszonka: zmielic 1/3 szklanki platkow owsianych w mikserze. Wymieszac zmiksowane platki  i pozostale platki, make, maslo, cynamon i cukier. odstawic na bok
2. nadzienie: rozgrzac piekarnik do 200C . Polowe pokrojonego anansa usmazyc z sokiem anansowy, cukrem i cynamonem okolo 10 min. Przelozyc miksture do miski i ubic tluczkiem do ziemniakow. przelozyc na patelnie i dodac druga polowe pokrojonego ananas, przykryc i gotowac do momentu kiedy kawalki zaczynaja byc miekkie. okolo 3-4 minuty. wylaczyc i dodac sok cytrynowy. wylozyc nadzienie na blaszke do pieczenia, na wierzch nalozyc kruszonke i piec okolo 25 minut. smacznego ! 


Spring is very shy this year in NYC; it comes and goes. One day is 70F the next 25F with chilling winds. I can’t figure out what to wear anymore.  I already swapped my wardrobe for the Spring one and have no boots or warm jackets in my closet.  Maybe Spring is punishing me to my limits because I didn’t make any New Year’s resolutions this year. To make up for it I will try to make some Spring resolutions come true: to lose some weight, climb new mountains, and discover new friends. There will be some wonderful work to share and even more to achieve. 

To start with the easiest task let’s shed a few pounds first. The quick way to do it is to move more and eat less. I don’t have any super diets up my sleeve for you.  It’s just hard work and clean eating.  A great way for me to achieve this is to move to a vegetable- fruit diet.  I tried this simple but luscious light recipe this year when I was visiting my Aunt in France.  And what’s more French than Ratatouille. 

The history of my family ending up in France is pretty amazing and worth mentioning.  My maternal Grandfather had a sister who volunteered to go to the work camp for him during World War II.  After the war, despite many years of searching, she seemed to have disappeared.  My family was convinced she died in the camp and eventually stopped looking for her. They moved from Ukraine to the Western part of Poland.  At one point, my Mom heard a radio announcement that someone was looking for a family and mentioned our name, but she ignored it thinking it was someone else.  Years after the war my Uncle started to look again for her, and this time he got lucky going through Red Cross files.  After 45 years she came and visited us in Poland.  She had survived the camp, met her husband who was also a camp survivor and settled down in France.  She had 8 kids, who are all married with their own children.  You can only imagine the tears, hugs, and long hours of stories to catch up on after all that time they missed together.  I have visited them many times in France and they have been in our life ever since.  My Aunt passed away recently in the age of 90.  She outlived all her siblings and was in good health until one day, she went to sleep and just never woke up.

She showed me this recipe along with many others. She introduced me to melons, avocado, and crabs.  My love for coffee and wine started with my French family.  You will be missed my dear Aunt. 


1 large eggplant peeled and cut into 1 inch pieces

1 large onion chopped

2 medium zucchinis cut into 1 inch pieces

4 garlic cloves chopped

2 pounds grape tomatoes split in half



½ cup extra virgin olive oil

2 tbs chopped fresh thyme

¼ cup chopped fresh basil

2 tbs chopped fresh parsley 

In a colander, sprinkle the eggplant with salt and toss. Let stand for 1 hour. Transfer the eggplant to paper towels and pat dry.

                In a bowl toast eggplant with olive oil  thyme and roast until soft and golden.

            Repeat the process with the  zucchini and the garlic, tomatoes with onions using 2 tablespoons of oil to cook each batch.

            Combine all the vegetables, stir in the basil and the parsley , salt and peper to taste and serve. 


The ratatouille can be refrigerated for up to 3 days.

jar of eggs

This year’s spring cleaning means something completely different to me. I think I finally understand what Lent, and Easter stand for. For the first time I didn’t clean my house from top to bottom (although I should have, it would have made me feel good). Instead I cleansed my body and my soul.  I gave up alcohol, sugar, coffee, meat, fish, gluten etc (I should just say that I only ate fruit and vegetables so the list will be much shorter).  I spent my energy reading books about having a healthy mind, meditating, listening to recollections, and cleaning up my address book.  I wiped out my Facebook account from “friends” I never met or cared about; got rid of all the toxic people around me. God it feels good to be free of the drama they created, trying to manipulate or control my life; always jealous and envious, critical of other people, gossipy and bitter. They know exactly what buttons to push and when. They bring you up and then try to break you. How many times have I heard what needs to be fixed in myself before owning their own flaws and working on themselves rather than change who or what I was. They made me feel small and unimportant, even if I have given myself unconditionally.  I know exactly the mechanism behind this behavior. They feel badly about themselves, so they make other people around them feel badly too. 

I was always exhausted and angry when I was with them. I felt badly and ashamed of myself, getting down to their level of pity. I was stuck in a cycle of trying to fix or care for them. I always felt like “I was walking on eggshells“ interacting with them.  I finally got it.  It was pointless to try to change them, I had to change my approach to them instead.  I made a list of people who I felt a sense of dread when I would see their number appear on my phone or I felt frustrated after I talked to them.  I slowly started to drop them from my life.  I blocked their numbers, and sent some of them a message that I didn’t wish to be friends with them anymore.  Some of them were not even worth a personal touch, I just stopped talking to them, or responding to their messages.  It wasn’t easy to end those relationships. Some of them were painful, particularly the ones that share a long history.  But once I made that big step. I knew I had created space for much healthier and far more nourishing relationships in my life.  And that’s what Easter and Awakening is about to me this year. 

To end on a bit lighter note, here is another Easter recipe. This one has waited almost a year to be published. I took these pictures at the begging of my “photography career” and although they are not the best, I didn’t want to dispose of them.  Photography is a learning process like everything else and we start from nothing and slowly build our way up.  Sometimes never getting anywhere but hey, you can't have results without trying. I am proud of my mistakes and that’s why I decided to present them here along with this easy but impressive recipe for Easter brunch. inspired by Sunday Suppers. Baked eggs with shiitake mushrooms in a jar. Instead of mushrooms you can use anything else. Ham, spinach, onion, bell pepper, whatever you like in your omelet ( the same concept) 

Ingredients :
serves 4:
8 eggs
3/4 lb shiitake mushrooms
2 scallions minced
1 tbs chives minced
1 cup of cream or yogurt
1 cup grated parmesan
3 tbs of olive oil
salt, pepper
Preheat oven to 375 degrees
In a skillet placed over a medium heat add half of olive oil and sliced mushrooms and cook for 3 minutes. 
Prepare 4 glass jars  and rub some olive oil on the bottom and inside edges. Distribute mushrooms evenly in each jar, break 2 eggs on top. Add cream or yogurt, sprinkle with scallions salt and pepper and top with parmesan fricco ( spread a layer of grated parmesan on a flat heated surface (non stick) and carefully flip when crispy.) Place the jars on the baking sheet and bake for 15-20 minutes or if you like them more done longer. Carefully take them out of the oven, remove the lid, sprinkle with chives and serve. 

8 jajek
400g grzybow ( shiitake, kurki albo pieczarki) 
szczypiorek posiekany
1 szklanka slodkiej smietany lub jogurtu
1 szklanka sera parmesan
3 lyzki oliwy
sol pieprz
piekarnik nagrzac do 180 C
grzyby pokroic w plastry
na patelni rozgrzac olej dodac grzyby i smazyc prze 3 - 5 min. 
sloiki wysmarowac pozostala oliwa. dodac grzyby, wbic po 2 jajka , dodac smietane lub jogurt, posypac polowa szczypiorku, dodac sol i pieprz a na wierz przykryc waflem z parmesanu. ( na plaskiej rogrzanej patelni usypac 4 placki z sera, kiedy sie zarumienia ostroznie przerzucic na druga strone) ulozyc sloiki na blaszce do pieczenia i piec przez 15-20 min lub dluzej  jezeli lubisz bardziej sciete jajka. wyjac ostroznie z piekarnika, otworzyc wieczka ( szklane) i posypac resztka szczypiorku. 

Winter apple pie

Greetings after a long break. 

I am getting my hands back into cooking and photography, and will be piling on many new recipes and pictures for you. 

In October, I joined Aran Goyoaga at her food and styling workshop organized in a beautiful Brooklyn loft. The loft is owned by another great photographer and foodie, Karen Mordechai, and her fabulous Sunday Suppers Club. I was very envious of the big windows, wonderful light, and long spacious marble counter tops.  Karen organizes dinners for her club members and occasionally has a food styling or food photography workshop at her great space. 

I learned about Karen through my Friend Kinga. It was not easy to get in to her workshop.  I had missed one opportunity, in April, but with Kinga’s help I was able to get on the waiting list for the next one and ta-da… I was in for the October class. 

The workshop lasted two days and was full of learning, eating, sharing pictures, styling, blogging and other fantastic experiences. I met wonderful people, who I hope to stay in touch with. 

Aran is a great teacher, very approachable, warm and sweet.  Her ability to style and take beautiful pictures is natural.  She is a self taught artist who came to the States from Spain (Basque country). Her blog, Cannelle Et Vanille, is a finalist of the James Beard award for 2012 and 2013 Best Individual Food Blog. I came out from this workshop feeling like a new person and hopefully learned some new food photography tricks. I look at food and light from a different perspective now and will recommend her workshop to anyone.

We have photographed a lot of different objects and dishes; one of them was Aran’s apple pie. The recipe I tried at home is a little different from the one Aran used, but I can assure you it is as delicious and gluten free as Aran’s. 

I've become a bit more hesitant to use nut-flours for baking, since exposing them to high temperatures causes them to oxidize, so I'm  trying out more recipes with coconut flour.
For the crust:
1 cup coconut flour
1/4 cup butter, soft ( you can use ghee)
3 eggs
2 tbsp coconut oil
1/2 cup shredded coconut
punch of salt
1 tbsp water
1 tbsp honey
Mix all the ingredients together, best way is to just use your hands. If the dough is a bit crumbly, add some water, but note that it will be a bit drier than regular dough
Next, peel and cut up about 5 apples, and add the following:

2/3 cup erythritol  
2 tbsp lemon juice
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/4 tsp ground cloves
2 tsp cinnamon
2 tbsp melted coconut oil
Roll out pie crust into large circle and place it on large baking sheets. Place the apple mixture on the crust and fold over the edges of crust so that it covers 2 to 3 inches of the apple mixture . No need to be artistic – the more rustic the better Last, spread some egg white over the top and bake in the oven on about 180C (350F) for 50 mins.

1 szklanka maki kokosowej
1/4 szklandki masla , w temperaturze pokojowej lub ghee
3 jajka
2 lyzki oleju kokosowego
1/2 szklanki wiorek kokosowych
Szczypta soli
1 lyzka wody
1 lyzka miodu
Wymieszaj wszystki skladnki, najlepiej uzyc do tego rak, jesli ciasto jest za bardzo kruche, dodaj wody, ale powinno byc troche bardziej suche niz tradycyjne ciasto. 
Nastpenie obierz okolo 5 jablek, I dodaj : 
2/3 szklanki eryterolu
2 lyzki soku z cytryny
1/4 lyzeczki galki muszkatulowej
1/4 lyzeczki startych gozdzikow
2 lyzeczki cynamonu, 
2 lyzki oleju kokosowego
Rozwalkuj ciasto w ksztalcie duzego kola I poloz na papierze do pieczenia. Najlepiej walkowac juz na papierze. Przeloz jablka na spod ciasta I zagnij rogi ciasta tak zeby zakrylo 5 do 6 centymetrow pozostawiajac srodek odkryty. Wierzch mozna posmarowac bialkiem I piec w 180 C przez 50 min.